Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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