remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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