Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
