i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
