How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
