return my video game
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
