I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
