My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
zippers are such a cool invention
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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