I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
