the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
