Sponge bath it is.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
