just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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