I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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