Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
