Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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