do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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