CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Farmville is her only friend.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have feelings that need drinking.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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