Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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