You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
