girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
