sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Even my vagina gasped.
You took a bar mat shot.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
