Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
