Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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