I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize