Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
