Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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