Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Randomize
Follow @tfln