Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.