I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.