How drunk are you??
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And then my night got REAL pukey
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks