worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
