Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
third nipple confirmed
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
