i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
