i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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