What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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