this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
