she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
