a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
