you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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