ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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