Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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