I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my poor anus
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
