some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
