If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
