who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
