he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
