Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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