i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
