is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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