Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
