I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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