I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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