omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
