could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
