what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
