I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
