Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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