omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize