I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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