Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Pants are for mortals
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
