I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
