A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
